break to rebuild

its okay to deactivate social media.
its okay to tell someone that you’re stuck in a really dark place.

I had a week of mental terror. Nightmares. Dark thoughts. Loneliness. Sadness. Uselessness.

I didn’t want to sleep, couldn’t sleep, because of the nightmares or confusing/unsettling dreams.
I only got up to feed my fish and force myself to be productive. Hoping it would help. I faked my smile and said I was fine.
I held it all back. I kept it inside. When I tried to talk to someone he ignored me or was too busy so I stopped. A burden.
“we have to stick together” feels like the biggest lie….when you think someone is ignoring you… or they’re just so busy… you don’t want to pour everything out when it happens because you’re terrified of going unheard or they hear you but just shrug and move on…

I don’t want to eat  but I know I need to.. so I do.

I don’t know… I’m taking a break. I’m going to spend time practicing self care.
There’s nothing else I can do..


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