I had a few good friends when I was growing up, and as life goes on, you mainly go separate ways from the friends you make in grade school and high school. And I’m still friends with a few of them and we keep in touch on social media and stuff like that. No big deal.
The friends I have now. Adult friends (meaning I made them in my adult life). The friends I tell everything to (well most of the time), the friends that hold the most important parts in my heart, my best friends, theeeeeeeey live 20 hours away from here.
When I visited them during the summer I realized how much they really mean to me. I loved spending time with them. I loved hugging them and feeling included in their lives. I loved going to movies and shopping with them. They told me daily how good I am and that they love me. I haven’t had friendship like this for years.
Now believe me when I tell you, its not all sunshine and rainbows now just because I have these friends and this friendship. Its like any long distance relationship. Communication and work goes into it all the same. Luckily I have friends who are constantly willing to help me be my best self when I struggle with the communication and other things. Sometimes if very hard for me to tell people when I’m having a hard time or setting boundaries for when I’m free and when I need time for myself. It gets lonely. Hearing about them going to hang out together and knowing I can’t be there is difficult.
But today I sat myself down and let myself think for a while. Though I can’t be there now to see them and hug them. I will be there again soon. And instead of letting myself get down to the point where I spend an entire day crying I’m going to focus on the inevitable good times ahead of me. I give myself time to feel how I’m feeling in the moment but fill my mind with more positive things thinking about the near future. And I will put my energy into working towards that. Into working on positive things for myself to help me grow into a better me.
And along the way I will let them know they are appreciated and loved by me. That I am grateful for them being by my side.