1 on 1

I’m an introvert. And that may be an understatement. This past week has been anxiety central for me. I’ve been feeling really small as well. Even though I’ve been more social and spending more time in groups these past couple weeks, I am left feeling intensely lonely. As an introvert, even though I love spending time with my friends all together, I am in need of that one on one time.

I’ve done good with telling people what has been making me shaky the past week or so and letting them know I might not be alright. I’ve asked for one on one time and had plans change or tried to be crammed into really small amounts of time. And it scares the crap out of me. I’ve been more tired in the evenings than usual due to restless sleep.

I posted a status tonight on Facebook:
“When rock slides happen and block the path I want to take, I start making a new one. Though I’m not going to lie….. it definitely becomes frustrating and saddening when I feel like I’m stuck in rock slide valley.”

Which was me trying to say that I’ve been doing well with having backup plans and even backups for the backup plans. I make a new path that leads me to be productive. But when I’m always using up the backup plans and even the backups for the back up plans for a good month….. I end up exhausted. I’m all socialed out. I’m tired of using all the plans. I’m just tired and really lacking one on one conversation or time with people. I’ve become so tired that I’ve not had energy to do things I love like streaming or creating art. I’ve been mindlessly playing the same game every day because thats all I feel I can do..

It feels so bad to say “what about me?”. I just need…. support. Or something..

I’m so tired I don’t even know if any of this makes sense…

-B

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s