sparks of the heart

I had my first real life date in basically 7 years on Tuesday April 11th 2017. It was the only date we needed to make things official.

His name is James. Hes a couple years older than me. Tall. Handsome.

And I feel weird about it. Not in a bad way, not at all. Its because he is so genuinely good to me. And everyone.  He understands my anxieties and the little misfires my brain has. He is incredibly reassuring. He loves my many laughs and giggles. He is encouraging of me taking my own time and working on my art. He shares basically the same humour as me and my friends, which is awesome. He fits right in.

I feel weird about it because I don’t have that dread. That dread that something bad is going to happen. Or he really doesn’t like me as much as he says he does, which is a lot by the way. I am so incredibly comfortable with him. On our date I wasn’t afraid to laugh with my entire body. I wasn’t afraid to eat in front of him. I wasn’t afraid to hold his hand or hug him. I wasn’t afraid to talk for hours. I wasn’t afraid. I was happy. I am happy.

{Thinking about him makes me cry sometimes…that’s kind of embarrassing but like my heart feels incredibly full and happy and then I cry. }

And when we kissed for the first time (yeah we kissed on the first date, twice actually )…. it was like tiny lightening bolts fired off across my lips and cheeks as I blushed. Sparks. And when it happened a second time I knew… I knew that I loved him.

For a lot of people they would think its way too soon and they need to connect more. But seriously? I have had more interesting conversations with James in the past month than I have ever had with Todd. If you know me don’t know me that well… Todd is my best friend and has been my very best friend for the past two years. And that to me is just insane on its own.

I’m really excited for my family to meet him. Though I know it will be kind of overwhelming it will be nice to get it out of the way.

Okay its almost 3am…I should stop gushing over my new man and get to sleep… or try to.

-B

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