Tonight I went to a family Christmas gathering. Usually at these gatherings I’m absolutely sick with anxiety and fear. I get so into my head that I start crying because all of these negative things are just slamming into my brain. Every year theres a game to be played after dinner and dessert… I usually… Continue reading Family Christmas Gathering
I’ve been sad lately. More deeply altogether I’ve been sad, worried and lonely. But generally I am doing much better than usual. I’ve been sober for about 24 days now and can already feel how much more clear my brain is. I can notify all the different things I’m feeling and work them out for… Continue reading The Sad
I started writing this on Facebook but I figured this would be a better place to write about my process with my DBT therapy book. Four pages written out of notes tonight. All about basic distress tolerance skills. ^_^ I’m learning to ” distract, relax and cope ” in a more healthy way. Two excerpts… Continue reading an update ❤️
I haven’t been okay for a few days (read “week”). My heart aches on the inside and I feel like no one wants me around. Or I’m unimportant… or whatever… It’s weird being so aware of my own paranoia since I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline. Because I understand that it’s part of that. And that… Continue reading Here I Am: A jumbled mess, but necessary.
Autopilot, that’s a thing right? Last night I fell down a horrible body dysmorphic rabbit hole. I don’t like my face. I don’t understand how I could be pretty one day and absolutely hideous the next. My body is a whole different problem that I’d rather not get into. I spent the night crying and… Continue reading Autopilot
Kesha came out with new music after everything shes been through… Click here This video/song makes me feel so many things. It reminds me of how I felt before escaping my abusive ex, wanting to jump out of moving cars or take my dog and run away. I wasn’t myself. I was depressed, suicidal, repressed.… Continue reading Praying
Today I am sick. I finally made it out of bed completely by like 4pm. I sat myself down at my desktop computer and started organizing my art drawers. I’m taking a break from that right now because while scrolling through facebook I saw a status my aunt had put up of this… Continue reading Just for fun !